Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Is this right? Am i doing the right thing? (girls please)?

There is a bit of a block that I have been going through thinking about my image. I am in high school and I have started to read up and I keep seeing the repeated notion that girls are only attracted to "bad boys". My problem is that according to others I seem like one of the most stable and "nice" guys they can find. The girl I like wrote how much she appreciates me in her birthday card. (" I can't believe someone like me met a person like you.") For a little while, ever since i started reading and believing the "nice guys finish last, bad boys get the girls" mantra, I am conflicted about whether to change or not. Girls tell me that I am such a caring, nice guy.. that in my current state .. It sickens me. I want to be "the " because it looks like they are the more successful. While i started to think that maybe i could have a chance with the girl i like, A voice in my head keeps telling me she wants a "bad boy" instead. She is not in the "popular crowd" but has the same ring of friends i do. For a little while, during the end of the school year, I wanted to adopt a "bad" persona and see where it got me. First off, I seemed a lot more dangerous to all the other guys. I was more aggressive, more easily engaged in fights, and more daring. Since the stereotypical bad guy is "adventurous", i started to do stupid things like arguing with teachers, giving them attitude, and challenging what everyone said. I started looking for rules to consequently break them. I wasn't treating all the girls the way i used to..."Respect and Caring, thoughtfulness" but rather the way a "" would (in a mean and cold fashion.) Since bad boys get the girls I think that i should change to be like that. Many people have noticed the polar change in my personality. When i was a super nice-guy, i wasn't wimpy or anything i still acted masculine etc but i just treated girls with respect and love. Feeling like a bad *** gave me good feelings even though it looked like people around me didn't like the new me, since i was meaner and more aggressive to them. The girl i like never saw my new persona because my character change was an experiment. My question is, since girls only like bad guys, should i just adopt my new, yet more hurtful persona. Everytime i do something wrong a voice in my head tells me that its wrong but i say it has to be done for girls to look my way.

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